


please stay

by norivos



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Insecurity, M/M, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Saihara Shuichi Is a Mess, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, background kaemaki, oblivious. theyre oblivious
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:00:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29475870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/norivos/pseuds/norivos
Summary: there are infinite ways to fall in love with someone.perhaps it’s a revelation; late-night reminiscing after a beautiful day, suddenly being able to identify that what is being felt is love. or it could be cliché and romantic, even – stargazing on the rooftop on a clear summer night, fireflies dancing in the moonlight that shines in such an alluring way onto a newfound lover’s face. or it could be uneventful, too, like a passing thought on a dinner date that would be addressed at another time. it’s special, nonetheless.when shuichi saihara realized that what he was feeling waslove, he felt like he was going to suffocate. he could not speak. the sudden weight on his lungs paired with his heart racing so fast filled him with the terror ofsoftness; the terror of beingknown.
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Harukawa Maki, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 8
Kudos: 54





	1. sunset

**Author's Note:**

> hello! thanks for reading my first published multichapter fic! i appreciate it!

Shuichi Saihara was an incredibly introverted and quite reserved human being; he simply did better from afar, observing the world and people from the sidelines instead of participating himself. He could easily watch people go about their lives, making memories and experiencing beautiful things, but he was far too nervous to ever try to impose himself or take part. Being observant allowed him to be intuitive with his choices, but in all honesty, he felt like it was a curse most days. The easiest way to describe it was sort of like being a side character in the story he was starring in – a support character, meant to help the main ones grow and learn, sometimes remaining unseen. There was always someone, or something, much bigger and better than him – and butting his head in where it didn’t belong would only distract from the plot. His friends and loved ones would always have the bigger role, their importance in the world stretching far beyond him and the relationship he had to them.

Most of the time, living in the background was entirely fine by him. In fact, he was quite aware that there were little things that could change his life happening all around him, every day – but whenever he was presented with the opportunity to open up to someone new, he ended up too afraid to speak up, worried about making things weird or saying something wrong. There was no risk if he kept his distance and watched the world happen without saying a word.

On an early spring day, Kaede Akamatsu sits next to Shuichi on an outdoor bench in the middle of their university’s campus. The warm weather has slowly begun to return these days, with the sun shining down upon the two as they quietly talked about nothing. Strands of her blonde hair wave in the gentle breeze that passes; she is dressed in a loose knit pastel pink sweater and big aviator sunglasses. Her attire was quite the contrast to Saihara – he only ever wore black clothing with a somewhat gothic flair and was rarely ever seen without his hat. Despite looking drastically different in appearance, the two considered each other to be best friends.

Shuichi had met her back in the fall, during his first semester in an introductory class. When they worked on a project together, he didn’t think that the two would become close at all – but the opposite happened, and it happened much more quickly than he could have imagined.Kaede simply had a certain charm to her that made her impossible to dislike. She was carefree and independent, but also easily the kindest person he had ever met. There wasn’t a single time where she showed even the slightest indication of discomfort or confusion when Shuichi didn’t know what to do or say – she had a big heart and constantly pushed him to say what was on his mind, something he had never encountered with someone before. Meeting her made him realize that there were people out there that made it all worth it; people that would care about him unconditionally, no matter how awkward he was at times.

“Shuichi, is your research paper getting done? You said it was due tonight, right?” she asks without looking up, fingers tapping on her phone keyboard as she spoke.

“Um, not all that good, I’ve been busy...” Shuichi admits with a timid smile. Kaede gives him a doubtful glance, as if she were silently waiting for him to explain what he was so busy doing. He takes the hint and finishes his confession. “Busy with, um... Nothing…”

“C’mon, you gotta get focused! You’re really good at writing, I know you can get it done quick if you just try!” Her encouragement was always very helpful, and he knew she was right. It _would_ be simple, and he’d probably – no, he _would_ – get it all done quite quickly if he actually set aside the time to do it.

“I know, I know... But, to be honest, I’m already more than halfway through a really good game, and... Oh! I was going to tell you that I think you would really like it, by the way. One of the characters is a really cool musician, and she reminds me of you…” he starts rambling, well aware of the fact that it sounded like he was trying to cop out of the discussion.

Kaede pouts briefly, then sets her phone down in her lap and smiles over at her friend. “You know, I am so down to hear about it, really! But… I don’t want to add to your distractions and contribute to you procrastinating. So, I won’t let you tell me anything yet!”

Something special about Kaede was that she genuinely enjoyed listening to Shuichi talk about whatever he was getting into. She discovered soon after meeting him that he was a vivid storyteller and could immerse anyone willing to listen in whatever topic he was talking about, no matter how boring it might seem at the surface. Because of her desire to hear him out, she also knew she was likely one of the only people who would ask him to talk about his interests. There was just something about him that she couldn’t imagine getting tired of when he was rambling about something he enjoyed; hearing her best friend talk at length about something obscure with sheer confidence was enough to brighten her day. To Shuichi, sharing things with her was something he valued beyond what words could describe – to have someone listen to him when others would simply shrug him off or tone him out made him feel like he actually mattered, as silly as it was.

“Okay... You’re right. I need to concentrate. Somehow,” he sighs, “Do you think you can come study with me somewhere tonight?”

“Hmm…” Kaede glances up above her aviators in thought before shaking her head with a frown. “I would, but I promised Maki I’d go out with— err, spend some time with her tonight! I’m sorry.”

Shuichi gives a quick nod and can’t help but smile a little bit when she mentions that name. Maki was also an acquaintance of his, but he didn’t spend a lot of time with her – she was just as quiet and closed off as he was. The two girls had been spending quite a bit of time together, and he found the situation unexpected for both, but admittedly adorable. More than anything, he wanted it to work out for Kaede. If anyone deserved to be happy, it was her. “I see… Have you two... You know...” he puckers his lips up, unsure of how to tactfully ask outright if they were on the level of kissing yet.

Kaede reaches over and pushes her pointer finger over Shuichi’s puckered lips to silence him. “Shh! You wish I would tell you!” she teases, shaking her head at him. Her fake stern look is accompanied with a smile that was bright enough to light up the world.

“I’ll take that as a yes then!” he says, unable to do anything but admire that smile on his best friend’s face. Her response comes out not in words, but in the form of her cheeks lighting up with a pink glow.

“Hey… If you hurry up and find someone yourself, we could do a double date. I’ve always wanted to,” she suggests, elbowing Shuichi’s side gently.

Immediately, he can’t help but to get flustered. “Find someone?? Well, it’s... Kind of hard for me to talk to people... I’m really not, um...”

Kaede stops him before he can say anything deprecative. “I know how you feel, Shuichi, but you gotta give yourself more credit. You’re very charming, you know?”

He says nothing and stares off, clearly lost in thought. She notices this and takes it as a cue to continue on. “Anyone would be lucky to have you. Even if you don’t think so! I promise.” When she says she promises, the corners of Shuichi’s lips turn up to form the tiniest smile. Upon noticing it, she knows her words are resonating with him, even if it’s only scratching at the surface. “And you know what? If anyone ever even _thinks_ about hurting you, I will literally make their life hell. I will not hesitate to bash their head in—”

Kaede is interrupted by her alarm ringtone playing, and she picks up her phone with a little gasp. “Oh no, I gotta go to class! I’m so sorry, I’ll see you soon okay?” She hops up onto her feet and tosses her bag over her shoulder, giving her friend a pat on the top of his hat. “And when you’re done with your paper, you can tell me everything about your game, okay?”

“I’ll do my best to get through it,” he says, “Promise.” Kaede can’t help but to wonder if he meant he’d get through his paper or his game. Not thinking too much of it, she just smiles and gives a big wave as she disappears off toward her destination. Shuichi glances at the time. It was still so early in the day – only 11:30am – and he still had half an hour to kill before he had to attend class himself. Of course, rather than trying to sort things out for productivity’s sake, he ends up distracted by videos on his phone screen until he has to leave.

Attending class was one of Shuichi’s least favorite things. He preferred his coursework to be online so that he could take it at his own pace, but inconveniently, not everything was available that way. His philosophy lecture was probably the most uninteresting thing he had been subjected to since starting college, making him actually consider dropping out of the course on more than one occasion. Throughout his class, he finds it nearly impossible to concentrate on any of the material being discussed. He scribbles down notes periodically, his handwriting so neat that it gives off the illusion that he is invested in the discussion – but really, he struggles to keep himself from dozing off multiple times throughout.

Some days, he questioned why he enrolled in college. His dream job was definitely something like a detective or a private investigator, and he knew he needed education for such a position... Unfortunately, his university required interdisciplinary coursework in any major, so he was stuck taking all of the basics in his first year. This sometimes had him second guessing what he wanted to do, worried he’d be happier in some other field... But it didn’t really bother him all that much to second guess, because he wanted to be completely positive about his choices. He’d likely follow his dream job route in time, but taking things slow at first was necessary for him. Besides, there was more to being in school than just paving a future. If there was one thing that he really treasured from his short time enrolled, it was the people like Kaede that he had befriended in spite of his social anxiety.

Towards the end of class, his thoughts start to center around Kaede. Shuichi thinks about the smile on her face from earlier, and how recently – ever since meeting her maybe-kind-of girlfriend – she was absolutely flourishing. He remembers how he became quite flustered when she mentioned wanting to have a double date, and the little encouraging compliments she gave him after. It wasn’t that the idea stressed him out; it was actually the opposite, and he truthfully found the idea just as nice as she did. The problem was that he just couldn’t imagine himself next to someone in that way. In the past, his romantic endeavors usually didn’t work out well. The combination of both his self-esteem issues and his forgetfulness often ended up getting in his way of finding love that felt real.

Besides, it was easier to not let his feelings get involved with anything. Back when he had started to get to know Kaede, he thought for a moment that he may have had feelings for her – but when he heard the way she talked about Maki after they had all crossed paths one day, he knew that he wasn’t going to be the right fit for her. It didn’t hurt him in any way, as his feelings were brief; all he really needed was her to stick around him as a friend, and despite not knowing her for long, he knew that she would. She was different, and trivializing anything with her would be a huge mistake. At the end of the day, it was her story, not his – and the less he interfered with her success, the better. He thinks to himself that if Kaede knew that was how he really felt about life, she would probably push him into all kinds of situations to overcome his fear. For now, keeping his philosophies to himself was best.

Once more, he entertains the thought of being in a relationship. He decides that if he were to describe how he felt about it with a single word, it would be _afraid_. Someone really _knowing_ him… If he struggled in a regular setting to put himself out there, he especially knew that things like dating apps wouldn’t work; anyway, falling in love with someone you happened to bump into seemed way too far fetched to actually happen. But yet again, his thoughts return to how bright his best friend’s smile was just at the idea of kissing someone she loved. It made him wonder, just for a passing second, what it would be like to feel so bright, so confident…

As his class is finally let out, Shuichi shakes away everything that was on his mind and is struck with the realization that he has very little time to waste. He needed to focus his attention onto his assignment and nothing else – he put it off this much, and the consequences were rapidly approaching. Besides, just as Kaede had said to him, it would probably take him only a small part of the day once he sat down to do it. He exits the building and sits outside on the steps, pulling his phone out and organizing his thoughts. It was time to shift focus, put on a study playlist, concentrate somewhere quiet… With that thought, he realized he hadn’t been to his favorite coffee shop since the end of last semester. He makes the swift decision that he will make his way there to work, knowing that if he went back to his apartment, he would be surrounded by distractions that would be hard to avoid.

The coffee shop wasn’t far at all, located just off campus a few blocks over. When Saihara arrived, he noticed that most of the outdoor seating had been taken up. It was a nice day… If he didn’t procrastinate, he thinks, he would probably have found somewhere nice to read a book in the fresh air. Oh well. He enters the shop – the smell of freshly brewed coffee is pleasant and inviting. His seat of choice is at the bar, adjacent to the barista’s espresso machines and away from the windows. As he sets his belongings down and approaches the counter to order, he is greeted with a familiar voice.

“Oh, hey. Shuichi, right? Haven’t seen you here in a while.”

“Huh— Oh! Hi Rantaro!”

Behind the counter stands the barista – Rantaro Amami – who leans forward over toward him and smiles. He’s quite good looking, with the prettiest eyes and a fair share of facial piercings. “Where have you been? Hibernating for the winter?”

“I’ve been... Um…” Shuichi hesitates, and shrugs, ultimately unsure of what to say. “Surviving?”

Rantaro laughs a little bit, running a hand through his pale green hair. “Same,” he replies solemnly, then looks him up and down. “I like your style today. It’s dark, kind of goth, suits you for sure.”

“Thanks,” he responds, getting a little flustered at the compliment.

“Anyway… I forget what you like to order, since you left me here for so long... Can you remind me?” he asks, tapping a few buttons on the register screen in front of him. Shuichi had met Rantaro last semester when he started coming to the shop more regularly. They weren’t exactly “friends”, since he didn’t know much about him… What he did know about him was that he was a few years older than him, not enrolled in school of any form, and working at the shop full time as a manager. He seemed to like his job and was quite good at carrying a conversation; it honestly caught Shuichi by surprise that he even remembered his name. Maybe he was more memorable than he thought…

“Ah, I’m sorry I haven’t come by. An iced latte, vanilla with a little bit of caramel.” Shuichi taps his fingers together awkwardly, then reaches into his pocket to fish out his wallet and remove his card to pay.

“Oh yeah, I remember now. But don’t sweat it! Just glad to see a familiar face again,” Rantaro says, taking the card from his extended hand and running it. When he hands it back, he winks and turns to start preparing the order. “Got some midterms coming up?” he continues as Shuichi takes his seat at the bar where he had set his belongings moments before.

“Yeah. I have a paper to write, unfortunately,” the dark-haired boy sighs, placing his laptop in front of him. He opens up his document with disorganized thoughts bulleted all over it, and tabs to his sources that he would have to start piecing together. The barista places shot glasses onto the espresso machine, and liquid pours into them slowly.

“You’ll do great, I’m sure,” he says, pumping syrup into a cup and pouring over the espresso shots with ease.

“Thanks,” Shuichi says, realizing he was staring at the way Rantaro’s hands moved as he worked. It was… A little bit hard to ignore him since he was moving quite gracefully. _Oops_. The finished drink is placed in front of him on the bar and the barista gives him another wink.

“Okay, there you are. I’ll leave you be now, let me know if you need anything else. Good luck,” he says, giving a small wave as he turns away and back over to resume his work. Shuichi gives him the same little wave back, then takes a sip of the latte he was given. It tastes wonderful; he suddenly remembers why he came here so frequently last semester in the first place.

Slightly over an hour passes and Shuichi rests his head in his folded arms on the countertop. Just as expected, he managed to get nearly the entirety of it done in such a short amount of time, with only edits and proofreading left. As usual, the crippling realization hit that the assignment was a lot easier than he was making it out to be. There was no reason it should have been put off like it was…

He closes his eyes to rest them for a moment – but they do not stay closed for long. There’s a sudden crashing noise ahead of him from behind the barista’s counter, causing him to peek up over his arms. Someone he has never seen before is standing behind the counter – a short boy with wispy dark purple hair has his head in his hands in front of a spilled latte covering the floor. His voice is meek, muffled in his hands: “Nooo… I haven’t... even... clocked in yet...”

Rantaro hovers over him, considerably taller than this boy – and he gives him a gentle pat on the top of his head. “There, there... I’ll help you. Go clock in. I’ll clean, you remake it. Check the label for the order.”

A dramatic sigh comes from the short one, who turns away to quickly do as he is told. Shuichi continues to watch, lifting his head and peeking up over his laptop screen. For some reason, he feels especially interested. He sees Rantaro hurriedly gathering cleaning supplies as he calls out an apology to the waiting customer – this customer was clearly not amused, likely in a hurry. “It’s going to be such a long day,” the purple haired boy complains to Rantaro as he moves as quickly as he can, pouring milk over espresso in a far less graceful way compared to his coworker.

“Nah, it’s been a slow day. You’ll be okay, I promise,” Rantaro assures him with a smile full of pity. Without a word, the new boy places the latte in front of the customer who grabs it and heads straight for the door. Rantaro shouts yet another apology to them, but it definitely didn’t seem like it was well received. “Kokichi, you _do_ have to talk to the customers, even if they look pissed off.”

_Kokichi. That’s his name._

“I knooooow... I’m tired today, so, sorry, I guess…” he replies with a sigh. Shuichi glances down, hoping that it wasn’t obvious that he was watching the entire situation. He was probably fine; it wasn’t like he had ever been noticed before. When he glances back up, he catches sight of the small boy leaning back against the counter, dangerously close to knocking more things onto the floor. Rantaro cringes and awkwardly points to everything about to fall, and Kokichi slides away from it without acknowledging that it could have been bad. Relieved, the green haired barista finishes cleaning up, placing a few of the cleaning supplies back where they came from.

When the conversation turns into work discussion – instructions on the tasks the other would need to complete during his shift – Shuichi decides he has been watching for too long and tries to focus back on his assignment. It was so close to being done; if he just focused now, it would be over soon. He bites the inside of his cheek and starts editing his work, hoping his words made more sense than he felt like they did. Only a few moments pass.

Saihara didn’t know what he was in for. All of the intuition in the world wouldn’t have prepared him.

Out of the corner of his eye, he notices someone hop up onto the counter adjacent to the bar where he was sitting. He glances up to see the purple haired barista playing with his apron ties in his hand, looking directly down at Shuichi from where he sat. “Hey. Do you always stare at people?”

 _Oh no, no, no, no…_ Shuichi feels anxiety rush through him and immediately answers aloud: “Wha—n-no…!!” He stares at his computer screen with an undeniably nervous expression, suddenly afraid of making eye contact he internally panicked. _How could he have seen? He would have noticed if he looked his way. He swore he hadn’t even looked in his direction…_

“Were you staring at Rantaro?? I know he’s dreamy but c’mon, you can’t be any more subtle than that?”

“I— No!” Shuichi hesitates, completely flustered but also thrown off at the suggestion, unable to figure out if he was being clocked as not straight. “I wasn’t staring at him, really—”

“Oh, so you were staring at _me_? Interesting…”

 _What?_ Shuichi very slowly looks up to finally make eye contact with the purple haired boy he had been watching before – he has a smug expression on his face, but his lavender eyes are bright, shining with something that he could only describe as curiosity.

“Okay, wait… Can we back up? Who are you?” he asks, doing his best to stand his guard in spite of his anxiety.

“Chill out, I’m messing with you,” the boy says in an overly sincere tone, “…But your reaction is telling me that you _were_ staring, weren’t you?”

“You… Didn’t answer my question,” Shuichi counters, feeling sort of desperate to sidetrack from that little fact in any way he can. Confrontation was not something he was particularly fond of in any way.

“Clearly, I’m a fucking barista.”

 _Ah, he’s the sarcastic type…_ “Noted… Let me ask again, who are you?”

“No, no. I wanna know who _you_ are first!” Shuichi feels a pang in his chest – he’s unbelievably confused by this interaction.

_What brought this on? He wasn’t doing anything to make himself stand out._

He had never encountered someone who spoke so casually, as if they had already met, but at the same time acted like this was… A normal way to introduce oneself.

_Why did he want to know who he was...?_

“I... Don’t understand why you do, but... Shuichi Saihara. Do you always terrorize strangers you meet?”

“Huh? You think I’m _terrorizing_ you? Jeez…” the short boy starts to pout, looking almost genuinely hurt by his words.

Shuichi couldn’t figure out how to respond – so he didn’t, just peered at the boy nervously from behind his screen, aware that he probably looked quite pathetic. He watches as his pout fades away, and he gives up his little act to look down at his nails and mindlessly pick at some chipped black polish.

“ _Saihara_ …” he mumbles thoughtfully, breaking off some of the polish and carelessly flicking it away. “Okay, I’m Kokichi. I’m sure you heard Rantaro say my name when you were staring at me, earlier, though, so…”

_No way._

“I—…”

‘I’m kidding,” the overly sincere tone returns, then disappears again. “I’ve never seen you before, is this your first time here? Did you hate it?”

“No, I came here a lot last semester… A-and… Wait,” Shuichi pauses, then tilts his head in confusion. “What kind of question is that, actually??”

“Oh, I hate coffee, that’s why I asked,” Kokichi grins, shrugging his shoulders.

“And you chose to work… At a coffee shop?”

“I don’t work here…”

Shuichi is stunned from the whiplash of this strange boy talking to him. He starts looking around, wondering if he actually… Did he really not…

“Okay, that was a lie, obviously. You kind of looked like you were considering the possibility of it for a second, though, which is honestly pretty funny. I’m not so mean that I’d let you believe that of all things, though.”

_He’s lying about such strange things,_ Shuichi thinks to himself, _then admitting he lies right after_. W _hat does that accomplish?_

Their conversation is cut off when the door to the back-kitchen area opens. From around the corner, Rantaro peeks around and looks a little exhausted. “Kokichi, you aren’t terrorizing Shuichi out here, are you…”

_Word for word, “terrorizing.” Yeah, this probably was a normal thing with him, then._

“Whaaat? You know this guy?” he says, turning his head to face him.

“He’s a regular, leave him alone,” Rantaro says, squinting his eyes to try to look stern – it certainly didn’t look as tough as he thought it might.

“Oh, a regular? How come I haven’t seen him?? Does that mean you’ll come back!?”

Saihara once again finds himself at a loss for words. _Come back..?_

Kokichi hops off the counter and stands in front of him, looking much less threatening now that he was standing at his short height. He presses himself against the counter and rests his elbows down with hands folded underneath his chin, looking intently at the dark-haired boy.

“So, you’re shy, right?” he says to break the silence, “It’s okay, I’m shy too!”

“…You… Think you’re shy…?” Shuichi thinks out loud, his disbelief clear in his tone. He realizes then that he’s staring right back at the boy in front of him, scanning his soft features in an attempt to find any clue to what was going on in his head.

_Completely unreadable._

“No, that’s definitely a lie. The real problem is that there’s something wrong with me.”

Shuichi quickly looks away and covers his mouth to suppress a laugh from his… sudden self-roast. He doesn’t look away for long, though – his eyes glance over just to check the boy’s expression, and he sees that his expression is unchanged with his eyes still fixed right on him.

_For someone who called him out on staring, he hasn’t stopped staring himself…_

He thinks to himself many variations of “ _what the fuck_ ” but he has far too good of a filter to say something rude out loud to someone he had only just met. But also… How does one reply to that?

“A-at least you know?” He finally replies, somewhat timidly. It was the kindest response he could come up with.

Kokichi drops his head down and starts laughing, and he notices that Rantaro laughs from the opposite end of the bar as well. “Yikes, Shuichi. That was a good one,” he calls over.

Shuichi feels inexplicably frozen in time from seeing the purple haired boy laugh. His whole body feels like he can’t move it, and he has no idea what that could mean.

Kokichi’s laughter abruptly stops after Rantaro finishes his sentence, and he whirls around to face his manager. “Hey, Amami, can you maybe stop breathing? Forever?”

_Hmm. Guess that means they weren’t laughing for the same reason, then…_

“Nope. Be nice,” Rantaro flatly replies.

“I am being nice!”

“Come make this drink for me.”

Kokichi is suddenly right next to Rantaro to do as he was told – with that attitude, Shuichi would think that he would be more stubborn and defiant, but… It seemed like he had no grasp on how to act at all. As soon as the small boy was preoccupied, the taller barista steps over to him and sighs. “Okay… I’m sorry if Kokichi is bothering you. He started working here more recently, like, right after you stopped coming around. He doesn’t usually mess with anyone, but—”

“You’re talking about me when I’m standing right here!” Kokichi growls from a few feet away, pressing espresso shots and glaring at Rantaro. The other barista simply smiles – he must be used to it.

_He doesn’t usually mess with anyone? So… This isn’t normal? That makes this even more confusing._

“Anyways, he’s harmless. Just annoying.” As if on cue to prove his point, Kokichi reaches his arm out as far as he can and jabs his fingers into Rantaro’s side, who doesn’t even flinch from it.

“N-no, listen, it’s fine, really. He wasn’t bothering me…” as the words come out of Shuichi’s mouth, he realizes that…

_Maybe he… Wasn’t bothering him so much._

“If you’re sure, then.”

“Okay, Amami,” Kokichi says impatiently as he serves out a pair of lattes, “Shouldn’t you be clocking out soon? Hmmm?” He looks and sounds irritated, but that was probably because the other barista was calling him annoying.

Rantaro sighs and glances at his watch. “Yeah, I guess so. Will you need anything later? A way home?” Kokichi shakes his head and walks to the back room without another word.

As he disappears, Rantaro shrugs and glances back at Shuichi. “See you soon, Shuichi! Don’t leave for so long next time.” His response is an awkward wave – he was running out of words. As he clocked out, he wondered what type of relationship the two had if Rantaro was offering him a ride home. They were probably just coworkers, but he felt like he was picking up something else. Not exactly romantic, more like something familial…

The moment Rantaro exits the building, Kokichi returns from the back with a melodramatic sigh. He doesn’t resume pestering Shuichi for a moment, caught up with customers that had just walked up to the counter. He figures him being distracted would give him a little bit of time to try to finish out his paper. He tries to find where he was last interrupted with editing, made a few grammatical edits here and there, rechecked his sources…

Only a few minutes, and Kokichi was right next to Shuichi again, faced away as he stocked a small refrigerator with some milk and dairy alternative products that he had brought out. “So…Not a good first impression, huh? Did I come on a little too strong?”

The question catches Shuichi off guard, and his gut feeling immediately tells him he was being honest when he said it. “Wh… I…” He tries to come up with words, but nothing happens. When Kokichi’s eyes meet his, he freezes up, then looks down in defeat. “I-I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry? Jeez, that’s kind of cold… I thought you looked like you’d be interesting but you’re way too fuckin’ shy!”

Shuichi’s eyes widen, but for some reason, he can’t take the insult very seriously. If it were someone he cared about, he would be hurt for sure, but he was almost positive he didn’t mean it. When he looks back up at him, Kokichi is facing away from him this time around. “Um. What’s that supposed to mean?”

Kokichi glances at him over his shoulder with raised eyebrows, probably surprised that his words weren’t enough to push him away. “I can tell you have a lot of thoughts going on, but nothing is actually being said, so it’s kind of boring. That’s what I mean. I thought you’d at least humor me a little bit more…”

Saihara stares down at his laptop keyboard, running over those words in his head a few times. It was quite ironic; he was always the one who read others like a book, figuring out everything he needed to know about them just by their actions. All the while, others would tell him that he was a mystery. Right now, it was the opposite. Kokichi was beating him at his own game, without knowing that it was his game at all.

“…This is going to sound super rude, so please don’t take it the wrong way,” he begins, his words coming out without much thought to them in an attempt to end the silence. He hesitates as he tries to come up with better wording, but ends up forcing out the first thing on his mind. “Before, when you said something is wrong with you—” Before he can finish, Kokichi leans over the counter and laughs quite hysterically at his words.

Once again, his laughter makes him feel like he can’t think. The indescribable feeling set off way too many mixed emotions inside of him, ultimately just downright confusing him. Shuichi sighs and hides his face in his hands to hide how flustered he was getting.

_…He’s not quite taking it the wrong way, at least…_

“Okay, Saihara, you got me with that one. Keep going,’ he says, pretending to wipe a tear away from his face as he catches his breath from laughing so hard.

“Dammit, pretend I didn’t say that part… I didn’t think it through.” Another sigh makes it out from his lips, and he closes his eyes as he speaks. “You’re kind of unreadable? And I’m, um, good at reading people. What I’m asking is… What exactly is your intention? Because you’re acting like you know me. Or at least, like you want to know me.” Shuichi bites the inside of his cheek and knows right away that his words were prying a bit too much.

 _But at this point,_ he thinks, _if he was going to try to read him, then he may as well do his best to read him back._

Kokichi turns to him and gives him a pathetic look – his eyes appear to be welling up with tears. Shuichi feels his stomach drop and immediately starts to spit out an apology, but the purple haired boy cuts him off. “You don’t… You don’t remember me...?”

Saihara’s insecurity takes over and he becomes even more flustered than before. “I’m… I’m sorry!! N-no… I…” He combs his mind for any trace of having met this boy before, unable to come up with anything.

_There’s no way, he must be ly—_

“Okay, damn, you fell for that one hard,” he says, the expression wiped off his face and exchanged for his typical smirk.

 _Yep, he was_.

Shuichi feels something inside him that he couldn’t recall having felt before. The way Kokichi made him panic just a little bit, just _enough_ , then pulled him right back into reality…

“Okay, I don’t feel bad about asking what’s wrong with you anymore!” he says sharply, “Who lies like that?!” Guilt settles in him for reacting in such a harsh way, but he does his best to brush it off.

“Me, obviously. It’s how I have a good time,” Kokichi sighs.

Shuichi stares at him, once again finding himself scanning his expression over and over again.

_Having a good time… Is he really…?_

He feels... Something. He feels… Like he could pick this boy apart for as long as it takes to figure out what was underneath this front that he was putting up.

He thinks out loud. “…Interesting…”

“Oh? What was that? You think I’m interesting?”

“N-no… That’s not what I meant…” But he isn’t really sure if that was the truth; it simply slipped out and wasn’t something he was ready to say. He didn’t even understand it.

“What?? You’ve stuck around here so long that I thought I’d pique your interest even just a little bit…”

Shuichi is silent again, contemplating the entire situation. How he was caught staring, somehow; how he was immediately pressed with questions and a dozen little lies and jokes… It was coming together, but all of the details were unclear.

When he doesn’t get a response quick enough, Kokichi speaks again and interrupts his thoughts. “Honestly? I can tell that you’re smart. And you look like you notice everything.”

_He can tell he’s thinking about it._

“…I’m not sure what to say,” is all he can manage, starting to feel a tiny bit overwhelmed by the thoughts in his head.

“Ooh, you’re a _humble_ boy, too, huh? Can’t take a compliment?”

Shuichi decides that it might be time to put a stop to this.

“Listen, Kokichi, you… Don’t know who I am. And I don’t know who you are. Right? Stop acting like you do.”

Surprised by the sudden seriousness from Shuichi, he raises his eyebrows. “I’m messing with you again. I did mean that first part, though.”

Again, the dark-haired boy refuses to respond, finally closing his laptop to prepare to place it in his bag. As he does this, something clicks that makes Kokichi notice that he’s running out of time. “Wait, Saihara. I have to ask a question before you leave,” he says, his tone shifting over to a grave one.

Shuichi stops packing away his things and looks up at the boy, who resumes picking at the black polish off the same nail as before.

 _Guess there’s no harm in hearing him out_.

“…Okay. Go on.”

“You’ll come back, right? You should come back. Tomorrow?” His tone is serious, but the nature of his question almost seems desperate. _Why did he…_

This conversation had drained Shuichi far beyond what his introverted personality was capable of handling. “…Let me ask you this, then, and you have to tell me the truth right away instead of making it a joke. Why?”

Kokichi looks at him for a few seconds, blankly, perhaps lost in thought but not letting a single hint of expression cross his face. “I don’t know how to act when I meet someone, so let me do it again.”

Shuichi doesn’t want to seem like he’s thinking about it too hard, but the eyes on him are practically begging him to say something. “You want to meet…” he begins, but can’t bring himself to say anything more. For a second, he feels like he understands. It was a complicated feeling, and he couldn’t exactly pinpoint the details, but…

_Maybe he was just like him. Maybe they were the same, in some way he couldn’t figure out yet, and that’s why…_

“I’m not lying. I work at 3:00.”

It was clear that he wasn’t. As a few more customers walk in the door, Kokichi wordlessly turns away from Shuichi to attend to them.

_They were the same? How were they the same? How was he anything like that? He would never have the guts to be so forward with a stranger. It had to be much deeper than that._

It didn’t make a lot of sense, but it was the only conclusion his instincts were bringing him to. He watches Kokichi’s hands as he prepares a hot latte. He appears to be barely following measurements, throwing all of the ingredients together as quickly as he could. As he pops the lid on the latte he finishes, he looks back at Shuichi with a knowing smirk. He was caught again, but this time, he stops himself from reacting. 

“…Okay, I’ll come back tomorrow,” he finally says to him after the customer is served.

The little smirk crossing Kokichi’s face remains, like he was trying to act smug about getting what he wanted, but Shuichi could detect a slight change in his energy. He seemed to light up in some way that he couldn’t describe. Was this a mistake? Was this just going to be something he regrets?

“Well, in that case… Since you’re trying to get out, you can leave now. Bye, Saihara!”

Abruptly, he becomes preoccupied with setting out a few cups in front of him and gathering out products to make drinks. Shuichi tosses his belongings over his shoulder and takes it as his cue to go.

“Goodbye,” he says under his breath, but it’s loud enough to be heard. 

Outside the shop, Shuichi starts walking in the direction of his apartment. The sunset is vibrant; hues of blue, pink, purple, and orange fill the sky, casting a pale glow onto the streets around him. He sighs out loud, reaching around to his pocket to find his phone – when he pulls it out, he aims his camera up to the sky and snaps a quick photo. The phone camera doesn’t do it justice, but he figures there’s some sentiment to capturing a photo of something beautiful while feeling so confused from his encounter with the barista.

He suddenly comes to a full stop, pushing his phone back into place. His thoughts trace back to a few particular moments from earlier; both instances where Kokichi started to laugh, where he felt as if time was slowing down and he couldn’t bring himself to move. He asks himself multiple times, _what was that?_ But no answer comes to him.

Saihara is left knowing that despite his uncertainty, there was something drawing him in; and he knew that he was determined to figure out what it was, even if it got him a little more involved than he was comfortable with.


	2. vanilla with a little bit of caramel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello! thanks for continuing to read! :3

An alarm rings loudly throughout an unkempt bedroom. Shuichi’s eyes crack open and he reaches his arm around to attempt to locate his phone to turn it off. When he finally finds it, he sits up in bed and yawns, sunlight making its way into the room from the crack in the curtains to shine against his face. Mornings weren’t always hard, but it took three different alarms to finally get him to wake up; probably because he ended up playing games far too late to take his mind off the events of the night before…

_Right_.

He should have known it would be the first thing on his mind today. It was probably the most eventful thing to happen to him in quite some time, but still, he feels anxiety in his chest as he thinks about having more interaction. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, he just… finds that something is bothering him about it. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the boy with the purple hair at the coffee shop since he had left, and that wasn’t really like him.

The thought disappears as he stands up and stretches. He glanced around, noticing that his bedroom was looking kind of cluttered. Cleaning up was not exactly what he wanted to do first thing out of bed, but he knew he would put it off and it would get worse if he didn’t. He picks up a few stray articles of clothing on the floor and some empty snack wrappers that didn’t quite make it to the trash, then contemplates all of the other things he had been putting off. Laundry, dishes… A never ending nightmare.

Deciding that only cleaning up his floor was good enough, Shuichi runs himself a hot shower. It’s enough to wake him up. He thinks that he should text Kaede and let her know he finished his paper – or maybe not. Maybe that would be too annoying; she would be told sooner or later either way. After he showers, he spends a lot more time than he would like to admit getting ready - you wouldn’t guess it by looking at him, but he was always a little indecisive about his outfit choices.

As usual, he chooses a dark outfit for the day; it’s simple, a black hoodie with black jeans and his hat. He thinks he probably looks okay. It's not enough to stand out, though, so it works. Afterward, he gathers some food in his kitchen to have a small breakfast; then boredly lays across his couch and stares at the ceiling. It was one of the few days of the week where he didn’t have classes, so he wasn’t exactly sure what to do with himself aside from general self care. Sure, there were extra assignments he could work on, and he had an online lecture to catch up on... But he really struggled with passing the time. It usually ended up slipping away from him as soon as he was distracted enough. And he found a distraction before he knew it; he became enthralled in a true crime video series that he had started a few days prior to pass the time. This was a typical subject for him to fixate on; it fueled his desire to pursue a career. Without feeling like it at all, he spends two hours on it. It seemed like such a short time had passed… And by now, it was 2:30.

He sighs. He figures there was no use in avoiding his thoughts about it anymore. He figured the reason he felt extra susceptible to zoning out on his series was because he was anxious as hell. It wasn’t that he _didn’t_ want to go see the barista again. He said he would, and it’s not like he was the kind of person to go back on something like that. It would actually bring him more anxiety to not go and let someone down! It was simply that... He didn’t know what he was feeling.

He knew what he signed himself up for; he was going to go meet with a guy who made him feel a little bit insane. Kokichi was probably counting on him to return – and besides, he knew that there was something he needed to figure out about him. If there was one thing about him that he couldn’t stop thinking about, it was how strange it was that he felt drawn in like this. He would figure out what it was, no matter the cost.

On his way there, Shuichi made a few decisions on how to act in preparation. If he was unreadable to the point of it being frustrating again – or if he was just being an asshole who wasn’t even trying – he would leave and just not come back. That would be easy. However, he had a feeling it wouldn’t go that way. He wondered if he’d ask more questions about him, and the answer to that was more than likely yes. What would he even say? Talking about himself always made him feel so weird and insecure. But… Asking to meet someone over again was... Quite bold, actually, and he would be lying to himself if he wasn’t willing to step out of his comfort zone just to see what he would do differently.

Shuichi arrives shortly after 3:00, when Kokichi said he would be working. He brought along his belongings so that he could at least have something to use as a crutch if things went south too quickly. Before he enters the shop, he stands outside and sighs. The sun shines down into his eyes, and he suddenly realizes how anxious he feels. He can feel it in his legs and when he looks at his hands, he’s slightly vibrating from the nervousness.

 _Come on… Pull yourself together,_ he thinks to himself.

He often felt similar anxiety when he first met Kaede, too. When they first met and he had to spend time with her to work on their project together, he remembered how he had to cool himself down outside the library and make a strong attempt to stop freaking out before he went inside. It was embarrassing, and he never told her how anxious he felt around her at first. It was thankfully because the anxiety dissipated quickly enough to be nothing but a distant memory. Would it be the same with Kokichi, though? His doubts gave him a fresh reminder that he was sort of a fucking mess.

He takes a long, deep breath, and he walks inside the shop. There’s quite a few people inside - busy for this time in the afternoon. He approaches the counter; no one is immediately behind the bar, and he starts to wonder if this guy was even going to be the one working. It would be his luck, and it didn’t seem too far out of the ballpark for someone who lied that much to—

 _Ugh. Shut up_ , he tells himself. _It will be fine..._

The doors to the back kitchen area swing open. Everything happens so fast: Kokichi stands in the doorframe, gasping as he makes eye contact with Shuichi, his expression... Bewildered? Panicked?

“H-hold on,” he blurts out in a clearly uneasy tone, disappearing right back into the room just as quickly as he had appeared.

_Huh… What the hell?_

Shuichi, unsure of what else to think, wonders what he could possibly be doing back there that required him to react that way. Already intrigued by the behavior, he patiently waits, tapping his fingers together to try to calm his nerves. It takes the barista a solid minute to come back out from the back. When he does, his expression is normal, as if he had never come out in the first place.

“Saihara... You came back,” he says, the corners of his lips just barely pulling up into a smile.

“I said I would, right?” he replies, returning the smile and subconsciously holding his hands together and intertwining his fingers.

“You did.” When he speaks, he realizes that though his expression has calmed, Kokichi still certainly hasn’t. He still had an inexplicably strange look in his eyes as he stared Shuichi up and down.

“You’re kinda short,” he says as he leans over the counter, reaching an arm up in an attempt to match his height.

 _Oh. Is that it?_ “Um, no offense, but you’re…” he pauses, gesturing his hand at his level to mirror him. “You’re easily half a foot shorter than me.”

He squints his eyes, as if it were an irrelevant remark. “And...”

Shuichi says nothing. They just stare at each other – the tension is unreal, both of them stupidly nervous to be in each other's presence, but both also a little too embarrassed to acknowledge it. What even _was_ this?

“You can sit. You don’t have to pay for anything,” Kokichi says to break the silence.

“Oh, um, are you s—“

“Yes. Positive. And don’t tell me what you want.” At this, Shuichi shrugs and sits exactly where he sat the night before. Hopefully he wouldn’t make him something that tasted like poison. He sets down his belongings, placing his closed laptop in front of him so that he could open it and work on something if the situation got more awkward than he could handle. Kokichi picks up a cup and starts adding syrup to it. “So… Why’d you come back?” he asks.

Shuichi thinks about this question for a few seconds before answering, watching to see if there was anything he could pick up, like… _Annoyance_. “Are you... Bothered that I did?”

Kokichi looks at him over his shoulder as he presses espresso. “Huh? No, I just can’t believe you did.”

“Why’s that so hard to believe?”

“You shouldn’t have to ask, you’re the one who had to meet me,” the barista laughs, despite it not being exactly funny. 

The thought feels insecure, but a pressing question sits in Saihara’s head. He decides that he needs to be bold enough to ask. “Did you not want me to come back? Like you lied?”

Kokichi stops what he’s working on and makes a pouty face, then sighs loudly and begins to whine. “No! Stop!”

He feels bad that the thought even came up - it was admittedly selfish, and the urge to apologize hits him hard. “I’m sorry—“

“Don’t apologize.”

“Oh, I—...” Shuichi was one of those people that when asked to stop apologizing, he felt the need to apologize for apologizing. He cuts himself off before he can, fighting the urge as much as possible.

“Saihara…” Kokichi begins as he stirs espresso into the cup, “What do you study?”

He feels suddenly grateful that the topic was changed. It was getting too unnatural to keep discussing what they were – any longer and it would have been cringeworthy for both of them. “I, um, don’t have a chosen field yet. But I’m pretty sure I want to work as a detective or private investigator or something. So, I’m going to study whatever allows me to do that.”

The purple haired boy nods thoughtfully. “That makes sense. I could see it.”

“What about you?” Shuichi asks. Like the day before, he watches his hands as he pours milk over the espresso. He’s unsteady, splashing just a little bit on the counter – his hand quickly reaches nearby for a washcloth to wipe it up.

“I’m not in school. I mean, I _was_. Just not right now.” Shuichi thinks that it seems surprising he wouldn’t take the opportunity to lie and say he was – or maybe he was lying, and he was in school.

“Is that true?”

“Yeah, I don’t feel like lying about it right now. I never picked out a major. I don’t like doing homework,” he speaks without looking up, finishing the latte by pouring ice over it. He spins around and smiles brightly, handing the drink to Shuichi. “Here you go.” 

“Thank you, um, are you sure I don’t need to pay for it?” he asks, taking the drink into his hands while unable to look away from the smile in front of him. He shakes his head in response, then turns away when he notices a customer approaching the counter. Shuichi takes a sip, halfway expecting it to be something unpalatable. But…

It’s exactly what he likes, despite never having mentioned it at all. Vanilla, with just a little bit of caramel. Either he was way too good at guessing, or…

It takes a moment for Kokichi to return. When he does, he hops back up onto the counter like he had the night before. Shuichi watches him pull out his phone and swipe at his screen, looking bored. He decides he’ll ask. “Hey, Kokichi? How did you—“

“How did I..?” he doesn’t look up, his fingers quickly moving across his phone’s keyboard.

Somehow, saying that made him feel nervous about asking. He takes a breath, then calls him out. “You... Made my latte how I usually get it.”

“Yeah? Is there something wrong with that?” He still doesn’t look up from his phone, and Shuichi briefly wonders if he’s even listening.

“Ah, no, I just… I never told you what I wanted...” he quietly says, then takes another sip of the drink as Kokichi finally pushes his phone back into his apron pocket. He looks down at him, and when he sees how nervous Shuichi is from asking, he giggles a little bit.

“I know everything. Nothing is too hard for me to figure out.” He stretches his arms up above his head and yawns. _He probably wasn’t going to tell him how he knew, then._

“Is that so?” he replies, tapping his fingers quietly against the countertop. 

Kokichi nods once and his eyes flicker to meet Shuichi’s. “Yep. I’d keep that in mind...” 

Shuichi already had some ideas about how he could have figured it out, but it almost seemed a bit obvious. “I’m almost sure you had to have asked Rantaro or something, though.”

Kokichi’s eyes widen like he had been caught, but he tries to play it down. “Whaaat? Why would I ask Rantaro about _you_ , huh??”

 _Got him._ Shuichi can’t help but to crack a smile. “You’re not lying very good today…”

“I told you I didn’t feel like it! You’re not being very nice today!” Kokichi pouts.

“...So you did? I was right?”

Kokichi shoots him a mysterious look as another customer approaches. “Guess we’ll never know.” He hops off the counter and sticks his tongue out at him before walking over to assist them.

Shuichi can’t help but to wonder why he would do that. Actually… No. He really doesn’t need to wonder so much. It was becoming more than obvious that Kokichi was looking for a friend but had no idea how to do it. He was unhappy with how he met him the night before, and he wanted it to be better this time around, going as far as figuring out what he typically ordered just so he could make it for him. It was a strange method of befriending someone, sure, but he genuinely found it to be well meaning and thoughtful.

Something bothers him still, though, and it was how he reacted when he first saw him. He thinks about the panic-stricken look on his face as he immediately hid himself. It wasn’t that he didn’t want him to come back at all, so why did he seem so scared by it? For a moment, he contemplates the consequences, but ultimately decides to ask him why he had the visceral reaction.

“I’m back,” Kokichi announces as he leans backward against the counter next to him once again. He bumps into some cups on the counter and knocks them over, quickly scrambling to pick them up. _He seems ridiculously clumsy…_

“I have something to ask you,” Shuichi says. Once Kokichi regains his composure and cleans up his little mess, he nods his head and waves his hand as a gesture for him to continue. “Why did you, um, look scared and hide for a minute when I got here?”

He gets a confused expression once again. “...I don’t know what you’re talking about,” is all he says.

“You looked, well, perplexed... And slammed the door back in your own face, then stayed back there for a few minutes,” he reminds him.

“You’re making that up.” Kokichi plays hard into it – if he didn’t already know he was lying, his confusion could easily be read as genuine. 

Not willing to allow him to manipulate the situation, Shuichi stands against him. “Again, you’re not lying very good today.”

Suddenly, the confusion is wiped off his face for a more curious expression. ‘Let’s play a game, Saihara.” _So abrupt._ As desperate to distract as Shuichi was when he was caught staring the day before. 

Exactly the same, actually.

Shuichi tilts his head and takes another sip of his coffee. “What kind of game? You’re working.”

“I already told you yesterday, I don’t work here.”

“Riiight... Sorry. I forgot,” Shuichi sarcastically goes along with it. It makes the barista smile – perhaps he enjoyed when his strange sense of humor was caught onto.

“Okay, two truths and a lie. You first, though, because I’m at work, and I can’t really play games right now, you know…”

 _Ah, the dreaded moment of having to talk about himself._ “Like... about myself?” Shuichi asks softly, as if there was some chance that answer would be no.

“Huh? Yeah, duh.” He hears a customer open the door to the building and sighs. “Ugh, stop coming in… Pretending to work here is terrible. Hold on, think of something,” he says as he turns away once again.

Shuichi knew he wasn’t exactly the best liar in the world, and certainly didn’t like to lie about his own self. He had thought extensively about how to talk about himself because he knew it was coming, but he felt sort of pathetic that he didn’t even know what to say. Biting the inside of his cheek from the anxiety, he tries to come up with something. _It’s not like Kokichi knew anything about him, so as long as it was ambiguous enough…_

“You ready?”

Kokichi had returned quite quickly – unless he was panic-thinking for that long.

“Um. Yeah. Ummm...”

When the words don’t come out, Kokichi raises his eyebrows, a silent gesture telling him to spit it out already.

“Okay! Um... First… I’m afraid of dogs.”

Kokichi grins and shakes his head. “That one’s the lie. I already know. try again, Saihara.”

 _Well, that didn’t work._ Shuichi covers his face with his hand and peeks out between his fingers sheepishly. “Well, damn. I guess that wasn’t a good one.”

“Come on!! Lie better. Make it personal.” Kokichi is practically begging him.

“I don’t know how to lie very well!”

The shorter boy rolls his eyes. “Bullshit, you can do better than saying your softboy looking-ass is gonna claim to be afraid of puppies when I know you’d lose your mind at the sight of a golden retriever.”

Shuichi gasps at his forward… Insult, and keeps his hand over his face. He can’t help but to laugh a little bit, because he’s a little too spot on. “Okay, Kokichi, you’re right.”

He notices that after his comment, Kokichi starts to pout and leans closer to him over the counter. “Play with me already...”

Shuichi takes a deep breath and nods at him. “Fine.” He lists each of his claims off, pointing at his fingers to mark the start of each, “I’ve only ever left the country once, I live alone, and I had a really big group of friends in high school, before going to college.”

“You don’t live alone, I’m sure of it. Bet you got a fuckin’ golden retriever at home.” Kokichi looks so confident that Shuichi is almost afraid to tell him he’s wrong.

“Oh, um… No, actually,” he says, his voice getting tiny.

“Obviously, I was kidding. You’ve left the country more than once.”

“No...” _Tinier_ , even.

Kokichi stares blankly past him, like he’s suddenly deep in thought. “I don’t buy it. You’re lying, you probably knew a bunch of people!”

“No way. I really didn’t meet anyone I was compatible with until I came to college. I was always kind of alone growing up, with a few exceptions here and there,” Shuichi starts to feel a little nervous from exposing such a personal little fact. “Sorry, I know that’s a little intimate to share right away.”

Kokichi shakes his head and furrows his eyebrows, looking frustrated. “...I hate losing. You fell for so much shit yesterday, let me get you.” He glances over his shoulder to see a customer meekly trying to call him over for something.

As he turns away to help, Shuichi patiently waits for him as he hands the customer some utensils she asked for. He thinks about how strange it was that he could figure out so much, but assumed he was popular or _something_ growing up. He seemed to have a hard time believing he didn’t succeed socially, when he was… Pretty obviously an awkward guy.

“Alright Saihara, try me.” Kokichi runs his fingers through his hair as he speaks. “I’ve never tried to meditate once in my entire life, I live by myself, aaand I don’t have any parents.”

 _Ah, oversharing a bit in there..._ Despite his tone being consistent, Shuichi finds it oddly easy to figure out which one he’s lying about. “You don’t live by yourself.”

Kokichi stops what he’s doing and looks up at him, squinting his eyes in confusion. “Pshh, _no…_ ” When he sees that Shuichi doesn’t buy it, he starts to whine again. “You literally almost believed me yesterday when I said we had met before, but now you’re like, figuring shit out way too easy. Were you playing dumb?”

For the first time, Shuichi realizes that he is showing some vulnerability – he can see right through him. “What does that have to do with it? It’s easy to pick out a lie when it’s a choice among the truths. When you lie without other options, it’s... A bit harder to figure out, and I’m a trusting person.”

“I suppose that makes sense,” he sighs, still pouting.

Shuichi decides to press onto his lie to avoid bringing up anything uncomfortable about the truth he mentioned regarding his parents. “Who is it that you live with?”

Immediately, his expression brightens back up. “Rantaro!!”

“Really?? I thought it seemed like you two were close...” The interaction between them the day before suddenly made much more sense; of course Rantaro would be looking out for the person he lived with.

“Ooooh, were you getting jealous?”

Saihara’s thoughts are interrupted by the remark, and he looks at Kokichi with a fair amount of confusion. “What??”

“We’re not dating. He's just my best friend,” Kokichi explains, leaning back against the adjacent counter and starting to pick at his nails.

 _Why would he even say that?_ “I… Really didn’t think you were dating!”

“Oh.” The barista is unphased. “Sometimes people think we are, so I like to clarify.”

Ignoring his little tangent, Shuichi shrugs it off to keep the conversation centered around him. “How’d you meet him?”

“Um… That’s kind of complicated.” The dark-haired boy starts to detect some discomfort – maybe he shouldn’t ask so many questions, especially knowing he would hate having to elaborate if it were about himself. “He took me in, though, so I'd probably be dead without him.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re not,” Shuichi says, attempting to be as sincere as possible. Kokichi looks at him directly in the eyes – there was some sort of heavy emotion there, but he couldn’t pinpoint what it was. Without hesitation, the barista changes the topic.

“Can you do another? Let me win this time.”

Shuichi narrows his eyes at him. “You won the first time, like, before I could even tell you my truths!”

Kokichi smirks and flicks some black polish off his nails. “Do better,” he says in a teasing tone. It seems a bit obvious – he’s trying to get Shuichi to tell him things about himself, but he’s too stubborn to outright ask.

At this realization, Shuichi unintentionally allows his insecurity to take the reins. “You know, there’s not a lot about me to talk about.”

“Okay, there’s not a lot to talk about about myself either,” Kokichi counters. He _knows_ that’s not true, and he’s probably saying it because he knows it’s not true about him, either. Something about the stubbornness in his words… It filled him with this desire to try to tear his walls down. He wondered if he felt the same way about him.

“Genuine question, do you always talk like this, or is it just when you meet people?” Shuichi asks, not exactly thinking about it before he spoke.

“Do you always ask weird questions like that to people you meet?”

Shuichi sighs and backs down, knowing there wasn’t exactly a way to communicate around it when he was the way he was. “Never mind, I guess I was thinking out loud…”

“Think out loud better then…”

“Huh?”

“I didn’t say anything.”

Suddenly, a young girl steps behind the counter and clocks in at the register. Her dark hair hangs in long braids behind her, and when she sees Kokichi, she looks exhausted; it was absolutely the exact same way that Rantaro looked exhausted at him. “Ah, fuck. Do I really have to work a shift with you…”

Kokichi gets a sincerely evil grin on his face and runs over to the girl with open arms. “Tenko! My best friend who is so, so, so nice to me every time we work together!”

“Do not touch me!” she shouts, dodging his arms and smacking him right in the middle of his forehead. _Well, it seemed their relationship was… Nice…_

“Ow, you’re the worst…” he whimpers, “But now that you’re here, I don’t have to pretend I work here anymore!”

She groans and slides past him, starting to work on tasks immediately. “Have you done nothing since you’ve been here? Useless. I swear.”

“Aw, you noticed! I’ll help later, maybe, if you promise not to hit me again.”

She rolls her eyes. “I’ll do it. You suck at it anyways.”

Kokichi seems to quickly give up on trying to mess with her and returns over to Shuichi. “Um, my coworker is here, and we are really good friends if you can’t tell. We can hang out while she so, so kindly does everything that I can do just as good as her,” he says.

Shuichi slowly nods at his passive aggression, understanding very clearly that Tenko would probably rather die than hang out with him. _Noted_.

“Anyways, Saihara, hit me with your two truths and a lie, please.”

Again, Shuichi takes a deep breath and tries again. “Um… Okay. I’ve never failed a test, not once. I really like video games and waste a lot of time playing them instead of doing important things. And... My best friend is a girl.”

“Hmmm…” he places his finger on his chin and looks to the ceiling as he thinks, then smiles. “You’ve failed all kinds of things before, I know it.”

Shuichi nods, sort of relieved that he got it right on the first try. “That one wasn’t as easy as the dog one though, right?”

“Oh yeah, that one sucked. This one was between that and your best friend being a girl,” Kokichi explains.

Bringing up Kaede made Shuichi subconsciously smile. “That one is true! She’s really great. She’s probably the only reason I get through the day.”

Kokichi’s eyebrows raise up and he looks like he’s thinking about something. “So it’s that kind of best friendship, huh?”

Shuichi completely misses what he is insinuating and rambles on. “I met her when I started going to class. She’s kinda the opposite of me, honestly, but she’s always made me feel… Y’know…”

“You guys bangin’ yet?”

When Kokichi says that, he instantly becomes flustered and realizes that the comment he made before went right past him. “Oh jeez, no, you have the wrong idea…”

“I literally just asked if it was _that_ kind of friendship and you kept talking, so… What is she if not your girlfriend??” Kokichi asks, sounding almost a little annoyed.

Still red in the face, Shuichi waves his hands and desperately tries to clear himself. “She’s just my best friend!! Oh, this got so weird…”

“Do you always act like that, or do you have a big crush on her and decided to overshare that detail to me...”

“That’s not it! Listen…” Kokichi is visibly unamused. “Um… I hope this isn’t too personal to share…” The unamusement quickly turns to curiosity. _Fucker_. “She, uh, swings the other way..? Plays for the other team..? She has a girlfriend, kind of.”

“Hah, same,” Kokichi flatly replies.

Still flustered, Shuichi asks for extra clarification. “Eh? Like, about having a girlfriend?”

Kokichi shoots him this _look_ – a very telling, almost offended look.

He drops his head down in his hands, feeling like he was on fire _. How awkward could he manage to make this be?_ “Oh no, I’m so sorry…”

Kokichi starts laughing. “Saihara, you’re a mess. Maybe you’re not as good at reading people as you think… Not everyone’s straight, jeez.”

“It wasn’t— I— What’s that supposed to mean? Do _I_ seem straight?” As the words come out, his hands cover up his mouth and he feels embarrassment swallow him up from the inside out. 

“Oh, what was that? Maybe there is a god,” Kokichi audibly whispers.

“What?” Shuichi asks; he refuses to show his flushed face, so his voice sounds muffled behind his hands.

From across the bar, he can hear the girl that had clocked in earlier suddenly call out. “Hey, Kokichi, can you please stop torturing that man and come help me with this order?”

Without another word to Shuichi, he steps away to assist her, beginning to ramble on to her about how kind she is. Flustered beyond belief from the discussion they had just had, he gets exactly what he needs as a distraction – a text from Kaede.

“Shuichi :))) would you like to join Maki and I for dinner tonight??”

“yeah, i’m out right now but when would you like to go?”

“You’re out WHERE 👀” 

“just getting coffee!”

“Okay, okay… Can we meet up near campus at 6?”

He glances up at the time on his screen – it’s a quarter past 5:00. _Had he really spent that much time there already..?_ He replies with a “yes :)” and sets his phone down on the counter, his gaze falling upon Kokichi again. The smaller boy finishes off a set of drinks to hand off before quickly throwing together a hot latte.

“Thank you for helping me,” Tenko says, sounding sincere but looking irritated.

“I’m taking a break now,” Kokichi announces in response. By the look on her face, it’s obvious that Tenko wants to make a comment – perhaps that Kokichi hadn’t been doing much work in the first place, talking to Shuichi so much – but she shrugs and simply says “okay”.

Kokichi finishes up the hot latte he made and walks around the counter, taking a seat right next to Shuichi, who has managed to recover by now. He sips his coffee, very casually, then yawns. “Working makes me so tired…”

Shuichi, watching him throw back this latte, remembers something that was said to him before. “...You said yesterday you didn’t like coffee. You were lying?”

“No,” he says, taking another sip while keeping eye contact.

“Out of curiosity, how did you make it?”

“Um, it’s just a mocha.” He looks a little bit timid, like there’s something else on his mind that he wants to say but hasn’t figured out how yet. “Anyways. I think I should be genuine for a second… I really didn’t think you were going to come back, so thanks for doing that.”

Shuichi frowns – it’s pitiful how shocked he was that someone was willing to come spend time around him. “Why didn’t you, though?”

“You want me to explain? Was being honest not enough??” He rolls his eyes and slumps over the counter, setting his head down in his folded arms. 

Shuichi decides that he would try to stop him from putting back up a barrier when he was just getting it to come down. “You’re taking it too far. I feel like… You’re trying to be secretive, but you’re also trying to get me to pry a little bit. Which I’m really, um, shy about doing.”

“I bet you’re super cool under the shy surface. I mean, I could be wrong and you could be a total dipshit, but.”

Shuichi laughs a little, a little perplexed at the idea of being referred to as “cool”. “I probably wouldn’t use either of those to describe myself, but… I don’t know. I’m in my head all the time. Like I said earlier, there’s not much to me.”

The way Kokichi looks up at him makes him feel like he’s staring into his soul. His heart skips a beat seeing such curious eyes picking him apart at the seams. The smaller boy’s fingers tap at the latte in his hands - they are chipped and scraped so much that he has to wonder how often he repaints them just to pick it all off again. “Saihara, you’re… Frustrating…”

“What? Did I do something—”

“No,” he cuts him off before he can begin his apologies, “It’s just hard to figure you out. But it’s also kind of fun, so I shouldn’t complain.”

“Ah…” Shuichi is unsure of what to say, or really sure of how to react to the statement.

“I know you feel the same, though. I can tell,” Kokichi says in a soft, low voice. 

“How?” his response comes almost too quickly, but he wants to understand how he is able to get in his head so easily.

The other boy just grins and pushes a piece of his hair back behind his ear. “You came back. Obviously.”

“I mean, I didn’t come back just to figure you o—“

Again, he interrupts. “Yes you did. That’s my charm, Saihara. I’m roping you in.” The sparkle in his lavender eyes is enough to make Shuichi’s chest tighten up in… Anxiety? It was hard to make sense of it. He wasn’t wrong – he knew very well that the desire to figure him out was the driver for him coming back. Maybe it was part of his plan; maybe he really was roping him in.

“C-can you elaborate on what you mean?” he finally forces out, hoping he’d even give him a hint to help him sort of this feeling he was getting.

“Absolutely not!”

Of course he wouldn’t – he wanted Shuichi to figure it out on his own. He thinks hard before he allows himself to speak again. “There’s no reason to be cryptic, you know. It doesn’t have to be complicated; you can ask straightforward questions and I would answer them. Playing a game was your way of trying to get me to tell you about me, right? What if I said you could just ask me to tell you things?” He knew for sure he was overstepping his own boundaries by offering such open communication; he didn’t know if he could commit to it, even. But in that moment, for some reason, it didn’t feel as terrifying as it might usually feel.

Kokichi doesn’t seem to be on board. “Where’s the fun in that?” 

Shuichi sighs. “I don’t know what makes you this way, but… I think you’re hard on yourself, and you won’t allow yourself the easy way. You’re hiding something, and that’s okay, but don’t torture yourself.”

He strikes a nerve with his words, noticeable by Kokichi’s blank stare off past him. He has a feeling he would ignore what was said, or at least pretend to not hear it.

“Sorry, I wasn't paying attention.”

 _Yeah_.

“Liar.”

Kokichi blinks away his blank expression and it is exchanged for a smile as he starts to laugh. Shuichi couldn’t exactly pinpoint why he was laughing or what was funny at all, but it makes him feel dizzy. He doesn’t even realize he’s smiling himself.

“Hey, um, Kokichi, it’s been fun, but… I have to go meet up with my best friend and her girlfriend for dinner,” Shuichi says as he glances at the time.

Kokichi looks a little bit bummed out. “Oh, okay. Was meeting me better this time?”

“Yeah, but also? I didn’t mind yesterday,” Shuichi admits, tapping his fingers together awkwardly.

“Something must be wrong with you, then. Jeez.”

“No,” he says firmly with a sincere smile on his face as he gathers his belongings and stands up from his seat. 

“Wait! Please, don’t go yet,” Kokichi suddenly says with urgency, jumping up out of his seat and rounding behind the counter. He pushes past Tenko, who curses at him as he fumbles around near the register. He ends up pulling out a pen and what appears to be some blank coffee cup labels and starts to scribble something on one of them.

“Hey, those aren’t meant to be–” Tenko starts to scold him, but he interrupts her with some empty threat about not giving her any help.

Once he finishes writing, he approaches Shuichi from behind the counter again, and hands him the torn off label. “Um. Here. I’ll be really sad if you ignore this, so maybe don’t…”

He nods as he takes the small piece of paper, and figures he knows what it is. “Hey. Don’t doubt me this time. I won’t ignore it.”

“Okay.” Kokichi doesn’t say anything else, just gives him a tiny wave before backing away to clock back in and help Tenko. Before he turns away completely, Shuichi catches a glimpse of this sparkling, hopeful look in his eyes. He had a feeling that look wasn’t going to be leaving his mind anytime soon – but for now, he pushes the piece of paper into his pocket and departs.

Shuichi attends dinner with Maki and Kaede. Maki was always the quiet type, sort of like him; Kaede was always the one holding everyone together and keeping the conversation alive. She was so outgoing and excited to be around the people she cared about, talking about anything and everything she could think of. Shuichi was finally able to tell her about the game he had been playing – and he would notice every time Maki looked over at her with admiration as she engaged with him. 

As they talked over dinner, he had a couple of thoughts. One was that the double date suggestion Kaede had made before (and brought up once again during dinner, in front of Maki this time, who “supposed she would be fine with it”) was, for some strange reason, sounding more compelling than ever, despite having an unsure reaction to it. Another was that he noticed that there was a certain way Kaede would smile when Maki would laugh – and something was clicking in him when she did that he couldn’t quite pinpoint. He didn’t want to lose himself in thought while out with them, though, so he pushed it all in the back of his mind and did his best to have a good time.

After dinner, Kaede and Maki headed home and went their separate ways from Shuichi, who began the walk home alone. The streetlights guided him down the sidewalk, nothing but the sound of distant cars and stray crickets filling the air. He’s unexpectedly hit with this feeling that _something was missing_ , but he had no idea what it could be. Looking up at the vivid moon above him, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the folded up label. He inhales the crisp nighttime air and unfolds it, revealing exactly what he assumed it would be – a phone number, with a little >:3 emoji. 

_Huh. Cute?_

He doesn’t even notice that he’s smiling, and pulls his phone out to send him a message.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you enjoyed please leave a kudos/comment! i appreciate it a lot and it helps me stay motivated to write! <3
> 
> also... shameless tumblr plug once again: https://outonmyfeet.tumblr.com/

**Author's Note:**

> if you enjoyed, please leave kudos and comments :3 this work will probably have about 4 or so chapters.  
> also, follow my tumblr! https://outonmyfeet.tumblr.com/


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